This is a book cover that I illustrated when I was 20, with over 27 illustrations. At that time I was working for a Kinkos Copies and selling my art to local publications for ads and for graphics. Graphics was easy back then. One of my buddies was a genetic engineer named Ernie Hubbard of the "Pure Harvest Method". He grew rice. I wish I'd kept in touch with him. He was an adult and I was a "Young Genius" according to tests done on be by doctors at the college. I have always loved scientists and artists. They actually think alike in many ways and show eachother new ways to think. In those talks we chatted about Women, God, Love, Friends and Family. He challenged my concepts of who I thought I was. Just as the IQ tests did, I thought I was just retarded. The tests results according to the Doctor said that I could do anythng I wanted to. Dr. Katz said that I could be a doctor if I wanted to. She said that I was a true genius. In fact my Mother bought me a bunch of pencils that said "Genius at Work" on them and I was teased endlessly. So I didn't tell many people about the IQ tests. Plus who is to say, I could just be "clever". I have to admit to one thing, I do see the world through different logic than most and my passions sometimes look more like obsessions. From the outside I am humble looking and unremarkable. The fact that I have been drawing since 3 and in college they either let me do independant study in art and teachers would let me aid others tells you nothing about what it really means though. Dr. Katz when trying to interpret what my scores meant asked many questions of me and told me many things about why I was chosen for testing. Genius...what an odd concept. "this can't be true" I thought to myself. After all I was akward and had a low self esteem. I was depressed and felt like I would always amount to nothing. I can't do math to save my life, that is with out a good calculator. But almost everything from music/art/even some business concepts seem to come to me as easily as the logic of following a path for which I have no real map. (my logic is free form) We are really the ones who set our destiny in motion. A vision in my minds eye is the beginning of anything I have achieved. If that and the ability to control my own dreams makes me a genius, than so be it. What ever it means...I am still finding that out. Find the Genius in you...look inside and break through your own self esteem issues. If art or music or poetry or even math help you do that, then do that! Oh and while you are doing it, do it with love.
Today I am working on another book illustration for publication. I am the same person, with some maturity and wieght added. I still feel insecure sometimes. I have been published in books, products, music, papers, and video. I never really feel as though I haven't acomplished anything. I even Directed a video at Universal Studios once. Nothing I do really feels like enough. Nothing really matters but having people with whom I have loving relationships. My fiance once said to me " you are really well acomplished"...The only thing that matters is really how much Love you are able to bring to this world. The world needs more of it than you might think. So the next time some one accuses you of being a Genius, if you aren't putting Love into this world, remember this; " you aint that smart!"
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